When you get a bunch of practitioners that hold liminal space on the regular, it quickly becomes a party for deep conversations and speaking truths.
I attended as a panelist The Collaborative Doula Conference in London, Ontario where birth and death doulas came together for a first ever collaborative doula con.
I was a guest panelist on “MAiD: Navigating Choice, Ethics & Support” and “Doula Work is Political: Advocacy, Justice, & the Realities of Birth, Death, and Everything in Between” panels with doctors, nurses, funeral directors, birth and death doulas, celebrants, and advocates from around the continent.
It was a whirlwind of workshops, panels, talks, seminars, dinners and dancing! The vibe was so inclusive and friendly, there was a lot of laughter and good conversations even though death was invited into the room.
One workshop I participated in I’d like to highlight was the “No Barriers Here” workshop with Jodi Hall and Crystal Toop – with a catchphrase “This workshop is open to all mortals” you know I want in, and then it was an arts and crafts exploration of death care planning?! Heck yes! Watch my TikTok about my artwork.
I hope I said something useful for conversation and curiosity; I never pretend to think I know the right thing or the one way to do things. What I think this convention did well was bring together so many beautiful perspectives and lived experiences. The birth doulas were attending death workshops and death doulas were learning from birthing traditions. Midwifery, liminal spaces, and human condition was centered instead of “that’s not my job”. The corporate bent wasn’t invited to this party and I LOVED that it was uninvited. It made room for more authentic sharing and showing up.
I got to see old friends and meet new people and made some new birth/death doula friends who I am happily liking and sharing on social media because who doesn’t love a cheerleader! Meeting and hanging out with international doulas like Death Doula Kacie, Death Doula Nikki and taking Death Doula Erin Merelli’s death mediation were also some gold star moments.
I was really honoured to share panels with Jodi Hall (whom I fangirled because I learned that their work made my structural feminist AOP heart jump for joy when she spoke on panels!), and especially the Doula Work is Political panel with Anna Balagtas, Gabrielle Griffith, Ewehawas Jacobs (moderator Nick Stanley) where we held space for for our collective anger, fear, grief, and resilience in our chosen pathways. There is so much stigma, colonialism, capitalism, and a whole bunch of other ‘isms that can add bumps and snags to our work and I’m really thankful to have a space were I think we vented and pushed the conversation forward a wee bit with some warmth and solidarity to make change where we can and to support each other’s work whenever we can.
*I wanted to follow up on a comment I made on the MAiD panel: I mentioned an Instagram account I am following that is a public diary of sorts for Joseph, Founder of The Last Supper Project, who has chosen medical assistance in death and is openly sharing his experience with bipolar disorder and suicidal ideation. It has made me death curious in ways I have trouble with as I am a suicide loss survivor (my brother died by suicide in 2010) but in Joseph’s public exploration of why death and why now has me asking my past, present, and future self what I think are hard but good questions. He also writes letters here on substack to Anthony Bourdain which break my heart open…
I hope I can attend the conference next year, (and I selfishly hope they get a tea and coffee vendor) and I hope there is more explorative workshops that can dive a bit deeper in modalities and practices because I think the people that showed up for this conference showed they were ready and willing to do the [shadow] work. Perhaps it’s in our wheelhouse though, considering how we spend our time at liminal doorways of first and last breath. We doulas hold vulnerable spaces, we seek them out even! So I am excited to see what happens at the next conference knowing that attendees are hungry for more and want to not just level up themselves but boost each other up too.
