What Even IS a Death Doula?

I held my first public + in-person Death Doula event with friend Madeleine Domingue at Red Sandcastle Theatre and I really enjoyed it! We decided to do a hybrid event where the first half was us presenting what we agree is a Death Doula’s role is (as it’s not exactly a strict definition at this time… will it ever be?), and then introduced how and why we were called to death work.

Definition is really vague on wikipedia… for a good reason!

I presented my journey, much in the same way that it was shared in the recent Canadian Business article:

A Wave of Start-ups Are Disrupting the $2-Billion Funeral Industry
By Rosemary Counter

Then we went into an Q + A and open discussion around death, inspired by Death Cafés. Sharing resources and stories is a helpful act in my humble opinion! I added more resources to my Death Doula page here on my website inspired by what we discussed. I’m looking forward to hosting another event like this one in the future at Red Sandcastle Theatre! I like the format we used with a topic exploration then open discussion and room to field general thoughts and queries around death and dying.

Here is the presentation on What even IS a Death Doula? (PDF)

And the video of the presentation I made: https://youtu.be/D9SvPysO9GY

Doula..ing

It’s been quite the journey to becoming (or realizing I’m) a Death Doula. I have had great training and resources through Hospice Toronto, continue to read and challenge myself with certifications and death education. But its been 2 years to the day since I applied for the End of Life Doula course and I keep finding meaningful moments that propel me forward on this path.

Just today I started with a new client who at the end of our phone conversation said, “Wow, this really helped, thank you for taking my call, I just really needed to talk to someone.” And sometimes it’s just that simple: being open to receiving another person’s story. Really listening and validating their experience. Other times its starting a discussion or sparking a debate on my TikTok about being a Death Doula – this time about the “tissue issue” and whether or not to give tissues to someone who is having a crying moment (as an act of mourning). And sometimes it’s me expressing my grief and end of life care journey for my loved ones through storytelling to help me process my grief journey and finding community. TikTok has been such a big part of my journey thus far!

With over 5k followers, I am finding like minded people and those who are curious about the death positive movement:

The more I do this, the more I find myself sharing stories and listening to other peoples stories and connecting through them – that’s the heart of or at least the focus of my doula practice. My training as an actor and playwright/English Minor in University has served me in ways I couldn’t foresee 20 years ago. What a neat evolution!

So looking forward to 2023, I already have a Doula To Do List! I am remaining curious and seeing where this path takes me.

I’m Karl Urban’s Mom! Kinda…

Blink and you’ll miss me but I can finally talk about being Karl Urbans Mom in The Boys!

It was a crazy experience during another lockdown for COVID19 and I was a bundle of nerves because of it. Karl introduced himself with his beautiful accent so it sounded like “Hi I’m Kyle…” and I looked at him confused. I think he thought I didn’t know who he was, and so he tried for chit chat between takes and I stumbled through pleasantries – he was absolutely charismatic and kind, saying that the show was a huge success because of people like me. I laughed but he corrected me that it’s true. I asked how Toronto was treating him, he said it was a great place, but the snow and winters he could do without.

I now joke that I have always begged the Universe to be on the same show as Jensen Ackles – and the Universe listened… technically! He wasn’t even on set when I was 😭 I had my own trailer complete with fireplace, and because of COVID I had a PA bring me food and drinks all day – it was like a day-in-the-life-of a movie star. So fancy!

But being on set was a real joy and everyone was delightful, even with COVID being a threat to the production. Being directed and told “you’re good, I wish I could give you more!” was a nice ego boost after years of struggling with my actor side. Though the final edit was just me sitting in the chair, know that I did a few auditions with and without an English accent, did a few set-ups and takes, all for that 2 seconds of air time. Acting can be a strange and amazing world, huh?

Watching him play backgammon between takes, not daring to ask for a game, I wish I was less scared of dying from COOVID and was a bit more chatty. Karl if you ever read this, you were a real gentleman and so warm and friendly, thank you (I tried really hard not to fangirl on you!)

Onstage Now: Two Weird Tales!

When trying to explain Eldritch Theatre shows to people I tend to use the phrase “horror puppet magic show” but it’s so much more than that. But how do you explain cosmic terrors squished into an indie theatre on Queen Street? How to encapsulate the terrifyingly hilarious puppetry and magic tricks that still make me gape with wonder. How do you tell people that the jokes are perfect for sci-fi nerds, for pop-culture junkies, for DnD addicts, for Lovecraft readers and horror fans? Do you love Stranger Things? Are you okay with puppet murder? What about weird occult references that will make you giddy to hear out loud? What if you LOVE the idea of things that go bump in the night??? Eldritch Theatre’s magic is what breaking out into song is to a musical: the moment just NEEDS SOMETHING MORE. Poof! Magic (literally) is made. It’s one of the bestest best things to be a part of, to watch, to make magic with a whole room of people.

When producing for Eldritch Theatre I am wearing many hats, one of them is social media content creator. The beast that is Social Media must always be fed, and fed, and fed; but I enjoy finding different things to throw into that gigantic cavernous mouth eager for consumable content. Photos and video are so easily dismissed as “instant” (hi, Instagram, no you are not as easy as you look), I had to teach myself a lot of things over the years to catch up and stay on top of trends – learning programs, platforms, editing software, cameras and smartphones… you name it I’ve probably tried it. But what has always been great about working at Eldritch Theatre, with Eric Woolfe always saying “ya sure, go for it!” is that I fail forward and have the support of a team that is constantly rooting for me. And because of that I sometimes get to make some pretty great contributions to the cycle of a performance in ways I never really thought of when I was studying acting and performance in university/college. Case in point, production stills for shows: a challenge that pushes me right out of my safety zone. But sometimes I get something like these:

Come see these TWO WEIRD TALES! https://www.ticketscene.ca/series/945/ I promise you it won’t be like anything else you have ever seen! And that, my weirdo friend, is the best part of all.

Take a look!

A friend of mine asked if I would be available for a student film as his collegue painted a redhead for class and he said “huh, that looks like Adrianna!” and what a neat way to be asked to come into a project… Gone Portrait is a short film that made me think of Dorian Gray. Thanks to the Creative Team: Yu Lu He, Rick Kunst, Hiên Võ

Big Red News

Big Red News

I’ve done a lot of shows at The Red Sandcastle Theatre, including my one-woman show premiered with me in it there, I’ve done a few indie theatre shows like The Parliamentarians, and I even helped form a collective of playwrights and formed a festival around our work before the pandemic called Whiskey Ginger Collective. It’s been an amazing space to hold my creativity, as well as the homestead for Eldritch Theatre productions, even longer than I have been with them! So when Rosemary Doyle from Red Sandcastle approached Eric Woolfe of Eldritch Theatre and I to talk about the future of that black box studio on Queen East – I was all ears!

Eric and I are taking over as new management, and I have already done a digital overhaul of the logo, the social media, and the website (that one in thanks to Christopher Mott!) and am already taking booking for 2022, but we don’t “move in” until December 1st, 2021. I’m already excited for it! Eric and I have plans to refresh the space and honour what Rosemary has been doing for these past 10 years in that space: making performance dreams come true. Now, Rosemary isn’t leaving, she’s just taking a necessary step back so she can focus on her life in Kingston as Theatre Kingston’s Artistic Director.

Here, read all about it on the website: https://redsandcastletheatre.com/10-year-anniversary-announcement/

And hey, it would be swell if you gave us a like on our new social media pages that I created:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/RedSandcastle
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/redsandcastletheatre 

So if you are in need of a black box theatre in 2022 or beyond give me a shout, I know this red head with a theatre that she’s looking to rent 😉

Jumping on a bandwagon…

bernie sanders stands in the festival players theatre by photoshop magic

With the internet going crazy for #BernieMittens I just had to jump in as the accounts I manage!

For Festival Players I created the Bernie Mittens One Man Show:


Bernie Sanders from 2021 Inauguration Day photoshopped into Festival Players theatre

And for Eldritch Theatre, the classic Black Lodge….

Bernie Sanders sits with his famous mittens in the Black Lodge from Twin Peaks

It can be fun to jump into a collective joke and meme, it can be an easy way to raise your voice and show off your branding in a new and fun way.

Dead end ahead

Dead end ahead

This year marked the ten year deathaversary of my dear brother Andrew’s suicide in November. You may know that I created a one-woman show to help digest my grief through storytelling and resource sharing in Everything But the Cat… which I also wrote about on my mental health and suicide prevention blog on tumblr. I have hung up the show and put it into archive digitally on YouTube, so if you ever wanted to see it but it wasn’t up on stage now you can see it:

Moving forward I am taking my skills of storytelling and putting them on TikTok as @ladydeathdoula as I start my certification as a Death Doula end of life caregiver in the new year. Combined with my years of suicide prevention and intervention training, and recently my grief literacy training, plus lived experience – I hope I can continue to be a resource for people who are dealing with loss and death.

With the pandemic putting a pause on the entertainment industry indefinitely, this seems like a good time to pause and reflect and do some work behind the scenes is it were. This is what I am doing. I still have my new agent trying to help me get voice overs, I am still producing and marketing Eldritch Theatre (we just had a great digital theatre experience/experiment!) and I just finished my term at Centennial College for the Museum Curatorial Management program – but in the new year when most all of those things hit pause until next fall I have something to lean into that fuels me forward.

Happy holidays and I hope this finds you smiling.

….and I’m back!

….and I’m back!

A few years ago I was having to navigate a major job loss, and then becoming a part-time professor for Centennial College. I needed a break from the grind of the audition room and to refocus on what was newly on my horizon. It’s been a few years, but I never really left the performing arts – as I have been working steadily as a digital storyteller and marketing manager for several arts organizations and artists around Ontario, currently volunteering at Ghostlight.ca which is all about keeping the light on for actors across Canada through the pandemic.

Enter my friend JM Frey who wanted to brush up on her voice acting and find an agent to pursue a career as a voice over artist. I dabbled in it a bit and offered support and what little insight I had when she landed her agent! Congrats to my friend, right? But because it is a strange and COVID-19 time: she was asked if she knew any actors she could bubble with to do proper self-tapes and guess what? THAT’S ME.

So one thing led to another, and I virtually met Jennifer from Star Talent Inc and we hit it off and lo and behold I’M BACK!

What does this mean? You might see more posts about the audition grind, and hopefully more about voice over work from me too. Keep your fingers crossed, and press play on my updated demo reel:

Learning to be a better Ally

I have had such a great time creating and sharing with GhostLight! I am working on Studio Sessions as a Digital Producer behind the scenes, and recently I filled in for our regular host Charlotte Gowdy in front of the scenes… that’s not the saying but you get me.

I have been so lucky to have met and befriended EB Smith through GhostLight, and then again to have this conversation with him on Studio Sessions. I have much to learn and unpack but with people like EB who is such a superstar in compassion and patience, I know I can become a better ally. Here have a watch:

Want to see more? Watch through our playlist on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLppXVdkVf8BYmPRIEO8vqRm-l4hXNqErz and follow GhostLight on Facebook to get in on the future LIVEstreams: https://www.facebook.com/Ghostlightcanada/

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