Notes from the Playwright

Notes from the Playwright

Once upon a time I wrote about something very close to my broken heart for the stage. I wrote a 40 minute one-woman show about my first year of bereavement after my brother died by suicide. As a theatre creator it was the best way to express myself and to process and understand what had happened. It accomplished some of those things.

I workshopped it, staged it, toured it, and still do it today on request. It propelled me into a new chapter of my life sharing my story and becoming a mental health advocate, smashing stigma around mental illness and most specifically the stigma surrounding suicide. I even trained up and became an ASIST trainer and teach suicide prevention to groups of people.

It has been 9 years since my brother took his life, and I am still rattled. I still get situational depression around his deathaversary every November. I call this seasonal depression the Novembears. I wrote a children’s book about it. I have had strangers ridicule me for my open grief, I have had people leave my circle of friends because I couldn’t “get over it already”, and I have even had fallouts with family who thought the same way. This play is about a sister who loses her brother and someone says to her:
“You must love that boy something fierce.”
“Death changes nothing,” she replies.
This is what the show is about.

Scarred Leather Trailer

It’s also about the guilt, the shame, the sadness, the grief of losing someone and how that stays with you regardless of time. The grief changes, and the grief changes you. It’s not as all consuming, it gets “easier” (air quotes, you get it right?) but it never goes away, not completely, at least not at the 9 year mark for me.

I wanted to write something that felt like my journey through grief to this point. Truthfully I wanted something ready to mark his 10th year of passing. I don’t know why, maybe because like the first year with Everything But the Cat… it would help me start a new chapter of healing.

Scarred Leather is the next chapter – the journey has been laborious just like a cowgirl on horseback – complete with saddle sores and weariness; the pistol is the aggressive blame and shame trying to take down anyone in its path; the Victorian structure is society’s rules around how to deal with death (that’s why my heroine challenges it with dressing like a man, she lives fully outside it’s rules/stigma); and the characters around her are all dealing with death in different ways and their ghosts/memories haunt them in different ways too, because we all deal with death in different ways. It can make us hide our true selves, deceive ourselves and others, it can change us for better or worse, it takes the things we love and leaves a gaping hole, and it can tear us down to build something new in its place.

Scarred Leather gets its name from a cowboy term referring to the imperfections in ones leathers, namely the saddle, which it gets after years of use. The scars are from enduring harsh weather, long rides, and being thrown around the barn. We can see these scars on our own flesh as imperfections, or as a life lived complete with mistakes and regrets and the lessons learned from them.

This workshop production is not traditional in any sense, because what you think grief is from the outside, like this Western seems to be, is very different from what it actually is.

I hope you enjoy the show.

And you can have a listen to the cast and creators on Stageworthy Podcast

Scarred Leather Character Portraits

Scarred Leather Character Portraits

The cast behind my upcoming staged reading of my haunted western “Scarred Leather” all had their photos taken by me in my living room and then I set out to edit them some Deadwood portraits for their characters…

Jason Martorino as The Mysterious Stranger
Caroline Concordia as Eliza Montcastle
Phil Rickaby as Bill the Bartender

Each character is from 1847, old Upper Canada, in the wilds of the new land called home – the outback of the Western world.

Come see it March 19-24th at Red Sandcastle Theatre: https://www.whiskeygingercollective.org/events-1

Poster Reveal for my Western

Western poster with a red head in an orange duster coat and pistol raised to the viewer, the ghost of a man in all black in a black cowboy hat. in the distance a hauntingly dark saloon sits vacant on the hills of Canada in 1842

I am excited to have my haunted Western, Scarred Leather, at the first ever Whiskey Ginger Collective New Works Festival at Red Sandcastle Theatre March 19-24th (plug plug plug)

But more excited to challenge myself in not just writing a period piece, not just collaborating with talented actors Jason Martorino, Phil Rickaby, and Caroline Concordia, but to up my photoshop skills to make the visuals for it! That includes my poster:

Western poster with a red head in an orange duster coat and pistol raised to the viewer, the ghost of a man in all black in a black cowboy hat. in the distance a hauntingly dark saloon sits vacant on the hills of Canada in 1842

Thanks to Ryan Fisher I got some great cowgirl shots over the past year, and then Jason Martorino channeled his inner Man in the Black in an impromptu photoshoot with me; thus this homage to the early 90’s Western craze (which The Quick and the Dead is among my favourites! I mean do I even have to mention Back to the Future 3 as my favourite movie of ever?!) was made. I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out.

We are doing a staged reading as it is still in development, but we will be doing light rehearsals until the festival, and of course it will be costumed because why do a Western in plain clothes?! You can see behind the scenes and updates on Whiskey Ginger Collective’s social media:

https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingercollective/
https://twitter.com/WhiskeyGingerC4
https://www.facebook.com/whiskeygingercollective/

Hope to see you there! Now, back to editing the script….